#((really fvcking hard))

[phntxm]

If you go on a blind date

} fem! reader, muzan in 3rd year high school, he have a crush on you but won't let you know (ofc), mean muzan, jealous muzan, reader's action a bit dumb(it's for the scenarios, I don't like it too lol), might have part 2 a/n; why I change my format every post lmao, not a long post ig / quick writing work

" what did you just say? " muzan stopped abruptly while packing his own belongings into his bag after hearing that you were going on a blind date

" I will be going on a blind date! " you repeated.

"... so instead of tutoring today, you're just going to waste your time on a blind date?" he asked with a mixture of disappointment and frustration. today, you and he have tutoring after school. in fact, all week, you have been having tutoring classes together after school, but muzan chose to tutor alone as he found the tutoring class did not meet his expectations, so you two will be tutoring together

" c’mon it’s not like I would be on a date everyday, it’s just one day " you say " and also this is not my idea in the first place, I just go with my friends because they want it to be in couple number " you added 

" and why won’t they just take someone else, it’s not like you’re the only student here " he replies

" yeah, and why won’t you let me, it’s not like we have tutoring only one day " you tried using the same reasons from him, sometimes we should have some fun, being with him was so boring, focus on studying isn't bad but he's way too boring

" you really want to go that badly?" he asked, noticing your excitement as you nodded eagerly

" tch, just don’t get too carried away," he said, his reluctance evident in his tone as he reluctantly agreed to let you go

after the blind date, you and the guy went on a few more dates as you liked each other. now, you skip tutoring with muzan more often, and of course, he did not take that well

he's so grumpy; everything and everyone in his sight is just... not right

the day after, he asked about your blind date in a nonchalant way, but deep down, he's so fvcking curious

he wants to know every detail: where you went, what you talked about. oh, you might have even laughed at a stupid joke because you're like that—smiling and laughing with strangers like an idiot

but the most important thing he wants to know is who the guy you went on a date with is

he tried to make you stay with him after school by saying things like the exam would be so hard, you have to stay for tutoring with him. If he takes you to his house for tutoring, he would finish very late just to have his personal driver take you home before bedtime

if your date went well;

not letting muzan meet him would be the best

muzan will try to win your heart

eell, muzan doesn't see it as 'stealing' you back because you're his, all for him. you guys are not even in a serious relationship. one day, you will be back for him. right now, you are seeing someone else. It's not stealing because you never belonged to anyone else

first, he would blame the guy you are dating, bad-mouth him, then blame all men. 'all men are like this, you can't trust any of them' he blames you, he blames everyone except himself. all of this just for you to stop seeing anyone

he doesn't like worthless methods, nor methods that would affect him or you

like spreading bad rumors: if it would affect you by making you look bad for dating that guy, he might put it last on his list. but it doesn't mean that he won't use it, because he could be the one who consoles your heart from whatever bad happened to you (that's because of him)

if your date went bad; he might go around dating with other girl, breaks your heart etc.

oh, as it should

he would bad-mouth the guy even though he knows nothing about him

now, the tutoring with him will be stricter. he will make sure you're performing well in your exams so that he can claim it's because of his tutoring that you're improving

if you're thinking about going on a date with another guy or seeing anyone...

no, you can't

he would remind you every time about your bad date, even though it was your first and only time doing it, to make sure you won't go anywhere

" don't you remember that damn date that had you depressed for a week?! "

" I know I was wrong for that. This time, I think this guy might be okay "

" so once is not enough, you want to embarrass yourself for a second time? Are you really that stupid? "

he tried, he tried so hard to be the only guy you want

he would suggest that you tutor in a place other than at school or his house, such as a café or any coffee shop you prefer, but without making it seem like an 'obvious date'

[theothernads]

𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄 •·.·`¯·.·•

Synopsis: where you try and break up with your boyfriend.

Warnings: toxic bf (boo), guns, yandere!Jay.

•·.¯°º¤◆¤º•°

"I JUST WANT TO TALK."

When he said that, you froze up and anxiety lurched at your stomach. You're standing in his modern office like a statue. You're just frozen.

Jay gives a quizzical look and he fixed his blazer. You don't miss the outline of the gun hiding in the belt of his trousers. Your breath stops for a minute.

“Look at me,” He commands sternly, and you do. You try to hide the subtle shake of your hands and your flickering gaze, but you're afraid he caught on.

“Sit, baby. I just want to talk.” Jay sighed, leaning back against his chair. The only thing that convinces you to do so is the thick desk between you and him; it managed to give you a weak sense of security.

With a slow movement, you sat, and he poked the inside of his cheek.

You don't have the privilege of even thinking straight right now. Since when were you so afraid of your boyfriend?

Was it when he nearly bruised your wrist the other day because you gave attitude.

Or was it when he confiscated your phone because you were on it ‘too much'?

What was it?

Or was it when he confessed for the first time, eyes glittering with expectancy you never wanted to meet.

“I was looking through your phone, you know?” Jay started, opening a drawer and digging into it. You kept silent, biting your inner cheek.

“And, I've discovered something quite interesting. It's quite a shock, really..”

You don't want him to continue. You can already feel the condescending words about to prick you.

“But apparently, you want to-" he chuckled in a hollow manner.”-break up with me?”

There it was- the sound of your heart sinking, thoughts crashing over each other. Your gaze falls to your lap. Okay- now you regret even texting such words. Not because you feel remorse or guilt of saying them, but because you regret even texting such traceable words.

Unpredictable he was.

“Did I say you could look at your fvcking lap?”

With a swift motion, you glanced up at him, swallowing hard.

“Care to explain, love? These diabolical texts to your friend?” He carelessly slid the phone across the table, showing your recent messages with Minji. You have nothing to say, your eyes fixed on the cracked screen, anxiety simmering slowly at your guts.

Your thoughts formulate something to say, something that could please him, but you find nothing but the dirt of the truth.

Silence.

“Are you going to explain or-.”

“it's true,” you cut him off softly. You looked up from the phone to see his glower, his frown.

“I want to break up. I've wanted to do it for a few weeks now..” you trailed off, staring at him straight in the eye.

Jay blinked, tilting his head as he nodded, as if he understood. Though, you knew his buried feelings were igniting right now.

“Why? I give you my love, gifts, I let you even talk to your friend,” Jay listed, voice growing louder each time. You swallowed hard again, eyes flickering to the desk.

“I just need space.”

“Space? Space, did you say?” Jay stood instantly but he walked to you slowly, as if to agonise you. It was working because you flinched, breath escaping in short circuits.

“I'm your boyfriend, Yn. Since when do lovers need space from each other?” Jay scoffed, now standing in front of you. You chewed on your cheek again, eyes downcast.

“You're… controlling,” You uttered so quietly that Jay stepped closer, practically exploding with ferocity.

“What did you say?” Jay snarled, arms trapping you as they rested on the armrests of the seat. With your nerves jumping all over the place, you flinched. Though he doesn't care as he continues to stab your gaze with his.

“Controlling… you're controlling,” You said a bit louder this time, though the smallest tremor accompanies your tone. And, you thought you imagined, but you saw the small smile curl at his lips. Jay puts a soft hand to your cheek, rubbing his thumb right under your eye.

You flinched away a little, but he tightened the grip on your jaw, almost forcing you closer to his face as he tilted his head. “Darling, I'm trying to keep you safe…”

That was his pathetic excuse? His reason to build this wall around you and totally trap you in.

Inhaling sharply, you pushed his hand away, a spark of determination igniting in your eyes. You weren't going to let him do this once more. To trap you within these walls.

Jay almost glared.

“You're not… trying to keep me safe… we both know that,” you said sternly, finally holding longer eye contact.

Jay could almost laugh at the confidence, but he finds unimaginable rage washing over him, taking him to a path of darker thoughts. “You just don't understand. I'm trying to keep. You. Safe.”

And you shook your head in frustration.

“From what?” You snapped at him, and Jay smiled, eyes leaving yours for a minute.

Before he even met your eyes, you felt a cold metal push at your chin, and your eyes widened a little, a short breath leaving you. You felt your head tilt up, and Jay smiled in a cruel way when he saw the shock that swept over your eyes.

“I'm keeping you safe, baby. From this…” Jay clicked the metal, sending you to shut your eyes tight, chest tight with distress.

“I don't want to hurt you, Yn… I want you to be unscathed, safe…” Jay continued, the gun now tapping your cheek lightly and you were frozen, voice buried beneath that fear.

You didn't think your boyfriend would ever pull a gun on you, but here you were with his own nefarious weapon pressing on your cheek.

“J-Jay-.”

“Shh, baby. I know, you don't like this, but I'm proving my point, right? You and I both want you safe, right?” Jay leaned in closer, gun at your jaw, and your skin burns with terror, shoulders tensing up. When you stayed silent, he pressed the barrel at your jaw more causing you to whimper.

“Answer me. Don't you want to be safe?”

“Yes…”

Jay gave a soft smile in this dark situation, and he removed the gun from your jaw, causing you to breathe a little, but Jay leaned in, right to your ear. You flinched away, but he doesn't care.

“So, are you still going to break up with me, baby? You still want to leave my safety?” He asked lowly, threats falling over your ears. Tears stung your eyes, a shudder pricking your spine.

Biting your lip to shut yourself up, you let out a sniffle; Jay chuckled, still next to your ear.

“Don't cry… it's just better this way, baby. Do you understand?” Jay gave a deceiving gentle kiss to your ear, making you tear up more.

You can't take this anymore. You just can't. Though, he saw everything through tinted glasses and, instead of wiping your tears, he gripped the gun to your thigh, barrel threatening to bruise your skin underneath and spoke.

"The next time you have such a bizarre idea, I'll be forced to use this,” Jay said, putting the gun to your shoulder, right at the joint as your breaths became shaky.

“And I'll shoot.”

At this point, your voice was gone, it ran away from reality. You couldn't speak, to which he smiled, kissing your forehead before saying words that flooded you with distress.

“I knew you would understand. I love you, baby.”

-

-

A/n: instead of working on my smau, I diverged and wrote this instead 💀🤡

[domtheforestgnome]

Some moments in season 3 of Young Royals that stand out for me ep.3

The day went on, I came back from work, recorded and sent my audition video for singing competition so I'm ready for another rewatch of episode 3, season 3. Let's go!

My posts about previous episodes are here and here

Simon telling Linda what she needs to hear

I mean - this is another unspoken fact most of us could see in season 1 and 2- Simon protect his mom and Sara for no matter what cost. We saw it with the bill from school after he took some extra lessons, we hear it now straight up from Simon.

Satisfying.

2. Running?

That was somehow a surprise for me. Like... he runs? Princes do that?!?!?! Kidding. But I immediately compared it to August's way of handling things... So... Wille is actually trying to help himself...? Wille why don't you go talk to Boris?

3. Safety first

Simon wearing helmet while going with Rosh and ayub on scooters. Finally.

4. Simon crying

I couldn't breathe. My friends needed to remind me to breathe. The way Wille diminished the comments meaning and left Simon alone with all that was just heartbreaking.

5. School Inspectorate arrival

I mean it's about the music again. My friend was like "what is it with this music!?", and another one screamed "what? the school inspectors are here! What is it you don't understand!?". And it has such a Skam vibe. I feel like this season is the most Skamlike of them all. What do you think?

6. Wilmon kissing on the piano.

Iconic. Very classic. I'm glad we have something like this scene with a gay couple. And it's so cool that this gay couple happened to be Wilmon.

Also Simon's hand, pulling Wilhelm down with him. Ooh!

7. Poppe!

I was just happy I see him again <3 But also, it was so good to see him there for Felice. And them talk.

Also, I don't know what is it with those fathers, but I could find some of my father in Micke and Poppe this season and that really warmed my heart.

8. THOSE HANDS?!

I felt like I shouldn't look. AND NOONE WARNED ME! Like really...

Why so fvcking hot gay?

9. Valborg

The music, the fire. As my friend said: Swedes are freaking wizards.

10. This moment

The whole sequence. Bottom Wille. But this moment. It makes me feel like I'm gonna pass out bc of the amount of electricity in this scene. But this exact moment is my favourite.

11. Micke

Heart attack. this is what this series does really good. Makes you feel what the character feels. I thought I will jump out of my body.

12. Simon sharing photo from 1st May

Like, after all of this... He's there, it's already ok. Why sharing it and causing more attention... Siiimoooon.

Yikes...

I laughed hard though... It turned out so wrong xDDDD

13. The end of the episode

Well... I have already seen it in a trailer, but the way it came in the episode... What did you said about breathing? Oh, I forgot to continue one.

Tomorrow is the day. Oh, I'm so sad I can't be in Stockholm. But I believe in ancient spirits that walk on this earth and protect us all, so mine will go tomorrow to Stockholm to hug some people who saved me by creating Young Royals.

Goodnight, beautiful fandom!

[vctrvn-ls]

Beta Squad members as The Weeknd songs {and why}

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・. .・

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・. .・

AJ: Shameless

guys guys guyyyssss , listen to the fvcking lyrics and tell me that’s not how you imagine being in a relationship with him!! the melody too, like it just gives off such Aje vibes you know? trusstt this is his song 100% , im sure with this one

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・. .・

Niko: Losers

now now now, why would I pick a semi-basic song for my husband? well it’s not really basic though. listen to the words and fricking tell me that it doesn’t sound like a Niko thing?? like the lines “cause stupid’s next to I love you” and obviously “only losers go to school” ahahah. and the melody is so upbeat but not too over the top at the same time, just like Niko, you guys get me??? like plz I put a lot of thought into this one ahahah

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・. .・

Sharky: Rockin’

sooo I was stuck in between this song and ‘Next’ but then I came to a conclusion that the latter is too too chill (almost sad) and the lyrics wouldn’t make sense. maybe the lyrics of ‘Rockin’ don’t all apply to Sharks, but the melody is his 100% because of how catchy and easy going it sounds!!! and you would totally be rockin’ together. being with sharky would be like dating your best friend no? j think ab it, he loves to gossip (podcasts r there for a reason), he dresses sooo well (outfit matchy matchy), great listener and an overall sweetheart!!! and the line “you don’t have to waste your energy”!?!? a slay line, defo cause he’d be so carefree w u and feel amazing. Sharky ily sm <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・. .・

Kenny: Gasoline

ssshhhh guys,this is such an underrated song Im telling you, j like Kenny. this song is j *chefs kiss* for him, despite the fact that I can’t explain why the main chorus of the song has me thinking ab Kenny when the lyrics have nothing to do w him. Ik it feels like I j wasn’t bothered for poor Kenny, but that ain’t the case. really like, here you either get it or don’t, it’s j all ab the vibe rlly. (also the OD line in the chorus kind of resembles his boxing to me..like if u were to be in a relationship you’d obviously help him, help him stay motivated, always be on his side and support him no matter what, that’s why it’s “I know you won’t let me OD” , cause he would literally trust you w his whole life!!)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・. .・

Chunkz: Ordinary Life

lyrics lyrics lyrics is all I can say guys. maybe don’t listen to them too deeply, but off of the surface vibes we get religion, fame and the contrast of the two. we all know Chunkz takes his religion seriously, to the point where he gave up music, and we all know he is considered a very successful individual. so connecting the two, he probably does have a hard time balancing them which only makes sense because usually religion is more ab the spiritual world rather than the material. additionally the main chorus is lively tuneful but still sounds kind of mature (u get me guys? I hope so) which is literally a description of our bby Chunkz <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・. .・

BONUS:

Filly: Best Friends

honestly self-explanatory hahaha, like this man always talking how he doesn’t want a serious relationship or anything like that, like he a fwb typa guy. lyrics v fitting if like someone ends up falling for him (me), I mean cmon like who wouldn’t…it’s Filly. looks, charisma, vibe, j a dream man fr. the melody lowk calm, drk if it’s v Filly but in some way I would say yes..

[theamityelf]

This suddenly came to me in a vision. I know this isn't the arrangement in your Tiny THH AU but. Makoto being the tiny angel on Fuyuhiko's shoulder

Oh my gosh, this would be so cute!

Fuyuhiko trying to be gruff and not get too close, whereas Makoto wants to get to know him, and he's just a little guy who's pretty much incapable of harming him in any way and has no incentive to do so. It is so hard to come across as a tough guy while hand-making a sleep space for a tiny person.

"Thanks, Fuyuhiko."

"Yeah, whatever." (There is no edge to his voice. If anything, it's a weary sigh. It's been a long day, and projecting a constant don't-fvck-with-me energy can get tiring.)

"It looks really comfortable. And it's close enough to your bed that we can talk."

"It's close to my bed in case of intruders. If someone sneaks in, you're not too far away for me to grab, and you can alert me if for some reason you wake up and I don't. It's not for fvcking conversation."

"Wow. You've really thought about this."

"Of course I did. I'm a yakuza. Thinking about worst case scenarios is part of the lifestyle."

And Makoto keeps asking follow-up questions, and what do you know? He's been lured into a "fvcking conversation".

Fuyuhiko who wants to keep his distance from everyone vs. Makoto who wants to make friends with everyone.

In Chapter 1, when Fuyuhiko goes to meals, he lets Makoto eat at the table with the other kouhais while he stands off by himself, keeping an eye on Makoto from a distance (while Peko keeps an eye on Makoto from up close).

When Fuyuhiko's vision is blocked by someone passing by and Peko happens to glance elsewhere for a second, Makoto somehow ends up enfolded in someone's napkin. When they realize that no one has eyes on him, they search everywhere, including the trash (Yes, Fuyuhiko has to dig in the trash.), only to eventually find him hopelessly wrapped up in that discarded napkin on the table. Fuyuhiko tersely puts him on his shoulder and tells him he's grounded, storming out because he's embarrassed that everyone saw him caring about something.

That said, Makoto actually can't stay on Fuyuhiko's shoulder for very long. His suit is too smooth and slippery, and his hair is too short to hold onto. Fuyuhiko finds a bandolier in Rocketpunch Market can hold Makoto on his person while still allowing him freedom to move around.

In Chapter 2, and just generally when Fuyuhiko gets more isolated from the group, Makoto is really lonely, so Fuyuhiko talks to him more. He's performatively crabby about it, but really, he cares about his kouhai. It's not the kid's fault this vacation is a death trap. (After all, what mastermind would shrink themself to four inches tall, in a killing game? Unless that's just what the mastermind wants them to think...)

"This diner is cool. Do you go to places like this a lot?"

Fuyuhiko almost smiles, his depressing train of thought interrupted. "What, you mean tropical murder islands?"

"N-No! I meant...diners."

They bond over having little sisters, and over hoping their little sisters are alright. Fuyuhiko pulls the conversation more in the direction of joking about different things their sisters have done to annoy them, and they laugh together, as much as Fuyuhiko will let himself laugh with anyone.

[selfloverrrrrr]

APRIL FOOL

HOW WE MAKE THEM APRIL FOOLS

*YUJI*

Me: hey Yuji supp???

Yuji: nothing... just chilling around...

Me: you know what Yuji.... I heard there's a ghost in our classroom....

Yuji: w-what?

Me: yuppp.... And I heard it's so sceary.... It has spikes on its head and it walks slowly.....

Yuji: d-don't lie to me

Me: you think I can lie to you???

Yuji: no no no

Me: are you afraid yujiiii????

Yuji: no....no I'm not

Me: then come with me.... I'm so fvcking afraid of that ghost

Yuji: d-don't worry... I'll protect you!!!!

We went towards the class room. Yuji's legs are shaking.

Me: do you see something???

Yuji: n-no

Me: OMG Yuji what's that!!!!

Yuji looked into the classroom and saw a figure with spikes on its head coming towards us

Yuji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ME: * Laughing so hard *

Megumi came out of the room...

Megumi: idiots!

*MEGUMI*

Me: Megumi!!!!! Why did you wore that shoe??????

Megumi: why??? What's wrong???

Me: there was a spider in that shoe!!!!

Megumi: WHAT THE FVCK!!!!!!!!!!

Megumi started throwing his shoes and jumping.

Me: * Started laughing *

Megumi: Why are you laughing?????

Me: April fool!!!

Megumi: I swear to god!!!

*GOJO*

Me: hey... where did you find the cake???

Gojo: *eating the cake* it was on the table.

Me: Don't eat that!!!!

Gojo: why... I'm not gonna give you!

Me: there was a cockroach on the cake.....and I put it on the table!!!

Gojo: WHAT!!!!!!???????

Gojo runs towards the sink and started spitting out the food which was in his mouth.

Me: *laughing so hard*

Gojo: I'm gonna catch some disease and you are laughing????!!!!

Me: April fool!

Gojo: NOW IF YOU RUN I'M GONNA USE MY DOMAIN!!!

*SUKUNA*

Me: hey... Sukuna???

Sukuna: what?

Me: Megumi told me that he wants to see you....

Sukuna: WHAT!!!!! REALLY????!!!! *Runs out of the room*

Me: :D ????

Me: Should I tell him :D?

Hey guys

Give me your requests....

I love when you give me your requests 💗

[futur3lov3r]

This is nowhere near what I usually post, but can I just rant and express how fvcking annoying it is to have really severe auditory processing disorder? Like, it’s bad enough I have to wear hearing aids (they don’t make it louder, they do some suppression and isolation) + headphones all the time, and I still have to read lips when I do that, but apparently I’m “being dramatic” because I “don’t actually have any hearing problems” because I can hear, but what does it matter that I can hear if I don’t know what I’m hearing???

And you get shit from both deaf and hearing people, like deaf & HOH people telling you to “stop using our services,” and “well… but you don’t actually know what it’s like to have hearing problems,” like… yes I do??? also like, Ive really wanted to learn ASL for a long time, so that maybe, just maybe I can communicate without issues, but in the class for hearing people at my local disability services area, they always talk to teach so I couldn’t understand, yet apparently I wasn’t eligible for the non talking course with subtitles???

Not to mention, teachers not believing you, people thinking you’re stupid, people in general not believing you have hearing issues because “you listen to music” and “you sound so normal” and having to constantly explain that you have to see someone’s face to understand what they’re saying and you’ll still get it wrong a lot.

Of course I’m not saying that I’m deaf or hard of hearing, I’m just tired of not having anyone understand and being penalized for something I can’t control.

Anyways rant over, I hope some people can relate and feel seen.

[djappleblush]

Joel Miller x OFC - Untitled

Ok, so I'm trying to venture into writing fics for Joel Miller because I became obsessed with Pedro Pascal and I had no idea how tf that happened, lmaooo... it resulted into sooooooo many plot bunnies and scenarios I'm about to explode so I decided to share them here in tumblr first before I post them in AO3, like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so fvcking lame. Anyway, here's the plot bunny:

Synopsis, or something: Joel was tasked to smuggle a cargo out of the Boston QZ, but imagine his shock when the package turned out to be someone - the woman he had slept with a few weeks ago; the same one he mindlessly fvcked and felt guilty about afterwards but shoved back at the deepest pit of his subconscious. He didn't want the job, but he wanted the payment, and despite his better judgement, he took it with practiced callousness and detachment. He didn't know how much it was going to turn his life upside down. Again.

Some relative plot, bear with me: Yana really needed some medicine for her friend, and considering the ones she needed were hard to come by in the QZ, she was forced to resort to dealing with one of the best smugglers in the area.   She was ready to bribe the man with a hefty ration cards when he took one look at her and said, "I want a blow job."   For a moment, Yana was so shocked that she could only stare at the guy. And then she blurted out, "What? B-but I'm pregnant! Y-you really want a pregnant woman to s- do that to you?"   The man only laughed. "I just think it'd be hot to have a pregnant lady on her knees sucking me off. I'm so pleased you came to me."   Yana didn't want to, but she was desperate. So, she agreed to meet the man that night, dreading it so much she went back home feeling sick to her stomach.   Of course, the man thought it would be such a nice idea to brag about his new deal to his smuggler friends, which was very wrong of him because the news reached the ears of one Joel Miller. The guy didn't even know that he had just signed his death warrant that day.   That night, Yana came to the meeting place feeling all sorts of nervous, fighting the urge to turn back and run away. When she reached the man's hideout, she was surprised when he opened the door only a fraction and thrust the packet of medicine in her hand, briefly telling her that he'd changed his mind and she can have the medicine - free of charge. Yana grew more nervous, knowing nothing was ever free in the QZ, so she asked if he expected her to pay in any way other than what they've originally agreed upon, but the guy quickly shook his head and stammered out an unintelligible excuse before shutting the door to her face.   Yana stared at the door for a few minutes, tears edging the rims of her eyes, before she walked away, clutching the precious medicine in her chest.   Inside the hideout, the man turned around in fear to the shadow looming behind him and said, "I-I've already done what you've told me. I'm really s-sorry, I didn't know she was you gi-"   He was unable to finish his sentence as Joel thrust his knife in his throat, twisting and then plunging it deeper, watching the life leave his eyes.

[gabwynart]

Warframe mid game

It really sucks being at warframe mid game because you cant either play the hard rewarding missions with the good stuff but early missions are to easy and dont have anything good to farm on them, every single tutorial I see is always from late game people that already have the best gear

"guys its pretty easy to get this mod, you just need to kill some enemies and farm this boss in cetus mmm ok?"

and their gameplay looks somehing like this

meanwhile my fvcking Nyx level 23 gameplay looks something like this

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, September 5th, 2024.

Who do you talk to about personal problems? Mainly my dad and my therapist. I have started opening up to my mom a little bit (not only with problems, but with things of a personal nature, the past, etc), but I'm trying to do it in small increments that way I can draw back at any time if things get too uncomfortable. And I could go to Oliver, but I prefer not to. There was a time in our friendship when I leaned on them far too heavily; it wasn't healthy and I don't want to repeat it. I know that they would be there for me if I needed them, but it's enough to simply feel their supportive presence while chatting about random whatnot, laughing over a silly video, or something like that.

Do you wear make-up? I haven't worn makeup for years. This is apparently how my brain works: I would wear it if I had any actual skill, but I'm not willing to practice in order to develop that skill. So…barefaced it is.

Do you shower daily? Not quite. There's usually one day a week when I don't bother, and today was that day. My dad and I went to the Mountain Park and aside from a brief stop at Carl's Jr. I wasn't planning on being around anyone long enough (or close enough) for it to matter.

Do you think any guys are going to take this survey? It's possible. I know of at least one guy in the survey-taking realm, but will he take (or has he taken) this survey specifically? Idk.

Do you love to shop? I actually really enjoy going grocery shopping, especially during the holiday season. I go a little bit overboard when it comes to holiday treats. When it comes to other things, it's like a potential addiction that's reasonably well-controlled. I know I don't truly need (or sometimes even want) new things. It's just my brain looking for that dopamine hit or attempting to fill a void, and I can usually catch myself before making a pointless purchase.

What is your favourite accessory? Do lip piercings count? I've had them for so long that I wouldn't feel like myself without them. I have an Italian charm bracelet that I wear all the time as well. Rings are also nice, but I only wear them occasionally.

Tampons or pads? Blah.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend? I was just about to turn 13. I'm not even sure if I should count it because it was a middle school relationship, but we did date for a little over a year. It also raises the question of which relationships should count because it's not like there was a hard line between serious and unserious. Although, tbh, I don't think I've had one that was truly serious… I loved those people, sure, but damn - none of those relationships were mature, healthy, or sustainable.

If you were to have sex right now, would you use a condom? I don't want to have sex with anyone.

Do you think it’s bad to have sex at your age? No.

Would you cry if you got pregnant? Yeah. Definitely not happy tears. This is why I would probably refrain from sex in certain situations - I just don't trust various forms of birth control to do their job and I don't want any surprises.

Do you have real or fake fingernails? Real.

Are you content with the current weather? Yesss. It's cool and cloudy and it's been raining on and off all day. Perfect Mountain Park weather with undeniable hints of autumn.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? No.

Is there a place you’d rather be right now? I'm fine with being here for the time being, but I am serious when I say I'm going to take some extra time off here and there to get out to the mountains. At least…I hope I'm serious. Future Me, don't let me down, okay? Take some fvcking TIME for YOURSELF.

Is there an article of clothing you need to buy right now? There was an article of clothing I wanted to buy, but I ended up getting it for free thanks to Veronica (a board member at the animal shelter). She was in the other day and saw me wearing a staff shirt, so she asked, "Does that mean…or are you just…?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'm still just a volunteer, ahah." But she had me go up to the front where they have some shirts and merch and such and pick out a few things, one of which was a pine green sweater I had been eyeing. I was planning on buying it once the weather cooled off if it was still there, so…score! :')

Is there a situation you currently feel hopeless about? Kind of, yeah, which is funny because this situation is going to end come September 21st. Alex is leaving!!! My brain just can't seem to comprehend that it's going to be over sooner than I think, and then I'll never have to deal with her again. I am so excited to see how our little cattery group will develop after she's gone. I feel like it's going to be so much more supportive and chill.

Have you ever wanted to get drunk and take your mind off of everything? In the past, yeah. Nowadays, getting drunk just sounds…ugh. Fun in theory but probably regrettable in reality.

How long does it take you in the shower? 10-15 minutes.

Does your password have to do with a person? One of them does.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love? I don't know what's "best," but I would like to take things slow in future relationships.

Do you have any fun plans for tomorrow? I'll be at the animal shelter for a full day.

Have you ever had to choose between two people? Maybe kinda sorta.

Do you think 2018 will top 2017? 2018 was an absolute dumpster fire. Probably the rock bottomiest of all my rock bottoms. The following years were a jagged climb, but THANK GOD I am so far away from that place now.

Have you ever been in a hospital? Yeah.

[sunenjoyswriting]

The sleep-deprived guard. (Rewrite)

Writers note: ES angst FOR LIFE!!!! ES is genuinely one of the only characters (in all my fandoms) that I like angst for because they are 15 years old and have to take on the job of deciding if LITERAL MURDERERS are INNOCENT or GUILTY, which ended up in them acting far older then their age and aaaaahhhhhh I love that kind of angst honestly…

Warnings: Uhhh angst (obviously, the whole note was about ES angst for fvcks sake), implied disordered eating (in one sentence), slight repetition (in one sentence… again.), uhhh… if you liked the old version just know this rewrite stems a little more far then some would like from the OG version but I prefer this version so I dont care.

Summary: Sleeping is hard when you’re a 15 year old prison guard with ten prisoners (who can’t stay calm for two days in a row) to manage! But ES will deal with it. They will deal with it.

Being a prison guard was really exhausting. Really fvcking exhausting.

But guess what! Sleep is a luxury when you have to manage 10 prisoners who end up keeping you up at night, because of all that could go wrong while you were sleeping.

… sleep is a really expensive luxury, actually. Had it been three days or four days since ES got to sleep for more than 3 hours…? Keeping track is hard.

The coffee ES had managed to find somewhere in the pantry was the only thing ES had tasted for probably longer than healthy.

Presumably, they had been writing something (not even something important, just… something), but considering how shaky their handwriting had been, it wasn’t really easy to tell if it was just scribbles or actual writing (I’m sure Shidou could tell… was that funny. Hahahahha doctors have bad handwriting hahahaha)

… the grip on their pencil was also quite loose, wasn’t it?

Writing was quite hard when you keep on nodding off every few seconds (despite having far too much coffee), but ES will manage.

They will deal with it.

They will deal with it.

They will…

…

Oh.

They had fallen asleep. Right on their desk. Right in the middle of writing.

It’s probably for the best, right?

~ The End ~

[rosesutherlandwrites]

Funny side effect of working really hard to get a lot of stuff done is

Be fvcking tired

[orrsoared]

hockey tag game 🏒

ty for the tag @fvcking-damage !!!

—

number one team?

it’s the boston bruins! black and gold till i’m dead and cold!

favorite goalie?

who would i be if i didn’t say ullmark? i’d be betraying bruinsblr (and swayman tbh)

what would be your jersey number?

it would probably be twenty three? or maybe forty nine because it’s my birthday combined with my parents birthdays!

what team would you love to play for?

the boston bruins! although, I feel like that answer is so predictable and boring so…let’s say the kraken! they’re in a great city, have a gorgeous arena and their team colors are very pleasing to me. (it’s totally not because i could see all of the locations from tlou 2 everyday!!)

who is your favorite player currently?

this is hard because there’s so many players on the bruins that i love (by many i mean all of them) but i’ll say charlie coyle! he’s a great person, on and off the ice!

a trade that hurt you emotionally?

nick foligno…because…how dare you? when i got the trade notification i was at work and the first thing i did was make a tik tok. it’s just a video of my co-workers who are working (unlike me) and hear a scream from behind my office door. i’d share it but no one needs to see us ! it’s this audio if anyone is curious lmao

what is your experience on hockeyblr so far?

this is my third hockey season on here! it’s been really great because i’ve met so many amazing people. it’s nice to share my love (and deep hatred) for the game with people that are not my family members. we all get to cry and cheer together!

tagging: @owchar1ie / @reavenedges-lies / @tinyhockey and @krugstrash !

[nerdydowntherabbithole]

I don't speak to people that much but- I FVCKING LOVE YOUR FIC!!!! That last chapter hit so hard I almost cry :'') Now for some reason I want to draw a really cool ultra zappy Moon- *run away to start sketchin stuff* (sorry if my english is bad im stupit-)

HEJEFEFKJEFJFEJKEJEFJWEB SOBS SOBS SCCRRREEAAMMS THANK U SM. THANK FOR READING AND ALSO CRYING WITH ME HEEHOO. If you draw zappy Moon I will PERISH on the literal spot. Just completely EXPLODE

[nutria--oscura]

Atonement- Anointment- an ointment? Atonyment (tony peperoni?)

~s2 ep 44 spoilers below~

ron and beth business idea? ron and beth business idea

"in fact, the only hard part my be finding someone to share it with" "oh" "..." "..." "ron... what are we?" "I dont know beth... i dont know."

"about 4 teens that got married" "4 teens?" im just gonna pretent anthony is saying it like that cause of hermie and dood

TAYLOR IS A ROGUEEE FREDDIE WENT ROGUEEE

honestly, taylor as a barbarian would have been funny

goofy minmax? fuck yea

NORMAL AND LINK IN THE INTRO (sorry i loved when will and matt did that with henry and darryl)

PIANOOOO

stimming so hard cause of will

... i take it back- normal i love you but what the f-

time to update your normal designs yall

"scary doesn't run errands. she walks them... bitch"

OH YEAH- THE MEMORY--

what the fuck-

"hes[darryl] like a real zaddy" "no hes a daddy, you gotta be realistic here"

so the teens cant go to heaven, cant go to hell, where they gonna go when they die-

HERMIEEEEEEE

scary gets taken "no! my scene partner!" hermie gets taken "no! my future life partner!"

anthonys exhasparated "okay" when beth said scarys gonna look like a meatball is honestly a constant mood-

PIANO

now being a ranger is useful- bhahah

"you know its not gonna be the time out room and its not gonna be good"

"no pwobwem fowwow meee"

"i wanna see if there's anyone who isn't supposed to be in heaven so i can tattle on them" "i feel like tattling as an act immediately drops you into hell" "they love tattling in hell though" "wasn't the bibles most famous snitch, like, kinda vilified for that?" "who?" "judas dude?" "judas my man. my man judas" "wait well, judas wasn't a snitch per se" "yea he was just bad" "he was a betrayer" "he was a betrayer" "he was a business man" "he snitched-" "30 pieces of silver in that economy can go a long way" "no no no no, they're-they're right Freddie. what did he snitch? like 'hey, that's Jesus' like they knew-" "YEA" "like they knew who Jesus was" "do you think the last supper was Jesus being like 'guys alright don't tell anybody don't tell anybody'" "'but we- we've gotta fucking move 10kilos of this, ok? just don't tell the authorities'" "'this is my body, let me see your body- you wearing a wire?'" "oh my god- like the last supper was like a table for 13 but then more people found out about it and they were like 'yea, i had a birthday party, the sweet 33 but you weren't invited' and Judas was like do not-" "'are you Roman? cause if you're Roman you have to tell me'"

yes, i did just sped 15 minutes to copy that section of the podcast on my first listen. yes, i do in fact now know it by heart

anthonys "yea" like "yea, no fucking shit" and then its a mens rights activist who podcasts about spaghetti who is in front of his setup eating spaghetti at the mic and only got into heaven cause he was an organ donor and all his organs saved the lives of great people who were from minorities that the guy did not like, each of which discovered the cure for a different type of cancer

im 23 mins in and ive been sat here listening for an HOUR

"taylor walks by and looks at him asianly"

"so you know how in a chirstmas story they have them say fudge so you don't have to hear the f-word?" "uh-huh" "yeaaa-" "uhhhhhhh-" "where are you going with this bro?" "careful my friend" "hes gonna say: *slowmode* 'oh darn, it's a pppppeeeeeeerrrrrrrsssoooonnnn' and hes going to say a slur, a horrible slur"

FREDDIE ON THE KITARRA

TONY

OH

I GET THE TITLE NOW

FVCKING NEW IT

new narc type - narc on someone to their conscience

THANK YOU ANTHONY FOR REMEMBERING HERMIE

AND DOOD

YES DOOD <3

"do you[normal] really want to give me positivity? or do you want me to say thank you so you feel good about yourself?" "get him get him get him"

HE WAS SO EXCITED FOR MARGHERITA TO BE THERE NO-

"im glad you got into heaven despite everything"

CHA👏RAC👏TER👏DE👏VE👏LOP👏MENT👏

LINCOLN-

JESUS LINCOLN- I MEAN YEAH BUT JESUS

SCARY MY BELOVED <3

ooooo, new item! potentially!

love taylor asking how lincoln is doing cause of his thing with authority when he himself wont process his shit-

normal needs to go feral <3 please <3

HAH- I SHALL RETURN- YOU CANT STOP M-

[scoups4lyfe]

Welcome to the Show -BD PPT Part 10

Again, I have ADHD and BD and can agree that yes, My ADHD symptoms sucked extra hard when added to the early BD onset.

The below entry shows (1) binge-eating and (2) OCD intrusive-esque thoughts.

[Journal entry]

October 1st, 2022

Sabbath, 3:24 PM

Last night I went to bed at about 6:00 AM. Today I woke at 2:30-ish. 

The first thing I noticed when I got out of bed was (1) I was very tired, (2) my neck hurt just a bit, so I slept on it wrong—not badly enough though—because it doesn’t hurt at all now, praise the lord; (3) hungry. 

There was a hunger about me. 

I remembered how last night like a desperate man I scavenged through our kitchen. I think it’s the mania making me hungry, because I just felt this overwhelming need to eat something. 

The caramel was gone, as was the jam, so I had taken an apple we got on wednesday that we bought from a farmer lol, and now it was all I had. So I ate about half of it. 

These honey crisp apples taste really good. I kind of chided myself for indulging in one though, because my stomach was burning pain—like scabs inside my gut, or internal bleeding—and I had trouble with even the idea of consuming any kind of solid food. My dad brought home instant mashed potatoes because of this. So, what in the world was I doing at 4:00 in the morning??? Eating an apple when I know solid food isn't going to go down well? (Doesn’t matter cause I ate it anyway, lmao.) 

But I was still hungry—so I ate old taco bell beef-corn tortilla hard shell—tacos that sat on the stove. (That can’t be a healthy dietary choice LOL.) After I finished one of them, I went back to my room, I don’t know to do what, probably waste time on youtube or with editing screenshots from Donbrothers episode 19, and man my stomach took to that taco like gasoline to fire. 

Almost immediately I regretted making that choice. 

But then an hour later I went back to the leftover taco bell, and had some of the dorito taco (not all of it), just maybe ⅓ or half. [Then I fvcked around and went to bed maybe a few hours later.] 

Today is sabbath—so y’know—I’m supposed to be resting. And I AM. 

Comma, space, however—

Well. There are just things that I want to do. I’ve gathered my sketchbook, [insert a bunch of writing journals and reference books] and also my pencil case. 

(LMAO.) 

Ngl though, the fact that it’s 4:00 PM had the burning—lightning-ous—feeling, back inside my stomach. I had it before I even started this journal entry, and I still have it now. Like my mind—or more aptly, my fvcking stupid-a$$ intrusive thoughts (Kyle <3) —  just kept repeating:

 “ah, the day is over, you didn’t do anything, the day is over, you didn’t do anything, the day is basically already finished and what are you doing? Sitting here on the couch knowing that you will never be able to do any of the things that you want to do, because the day is over and you’ve already done nothing. You’ve done it again. The only thing it seems you **are** able to do—  nothing. Isn’t that funny? Now you’ll have to try again on Sunday, and inevitably fail again. The day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over  the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over

 the day is over—” 

ENOUGH! 

And whenever I look at the clock, or think about the time, or even just see the shadows in the curtains, my thoughts do it all over again—and again—and again. 

Then I can feel the breath in my throat, and all the energy inside my stomach just is everywhere. Anxiety. 

(Not a great feeling lmao.) 

So yeah—I’ll try and come back here before I go to bed ( I mean, don’t count on it LOL), and so ….yeah. I got nothing else to really say rn other than, uh, see you later? (Lordt.) 

[entry end]

The above entry I think does a good job at showing binge-eating. It’s super easy for people with BD to end up with an eating disorder.

I fvcking fainted in college because I slept during the cafeteria hours so I was surviving on like…vending machine m&ms. Not to mention when I get in those depressive periods I can go full days without eating because I either can’t get out of bed or the idea of eating makes me nauseous.

And then there will be days where I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and almost like sleep-walk in a daze to the kitchen and eat whatever I can get my hands on no matter how sh*tty and unappetizing it is.

Anyways—all this to say that BD comes with extra baggage of mental illness 😵‍💫🤤🥴🤕👻👾👾👾👾👽🙀😮‍💨🫠.

Still cannot stop laughing at the youtube comment LOL.

"Wow! Bipolar people are human too!" Like yeah, who would've thought

🤪

Just goes to show how powerful and prevalent stigma is for mental illness -- but esp. for BD.

Hopefully this info helps get rid of that stigma >:/

....༼ง’̀-‘́༽ง

༼ง’̀-‘́༽ง mfer

If someone tells you they’re Bipolar, that can be a very real and very big thing. That means they trust you. So writing it off as, “that doesn’t matter to me” comes off as insensitive because it matters to US, bro. It fvcking matters to us.

I was watching a podcast where the speaker (who had Bipolar) was talking about their experience where they met this guy that seriously did not believe Bipolar was a real actual thing and thought those people needed to “get over themselves.” Which infuriates me to the SEVENTH degree. It’s also wild asf, but again.

Y’all don’t know SHXT when it comes to Bipolar

For those still asking this question:

tldr; y'all don't know SHXT about Bipolar. x2

"Y'all" including mental health professionals and doctors 🤪

naw fr though.

Normally I would be like "yeah, whatever" but using that as an adj can get tricky ESPECIALLY if you start using it to describe a person because then you might spread unintentional bias and misinformation onto others.

"Oh --Vegas is bipolar?" No. He is NOT bipolar.

Don't. fvcking. Use. That. ADJECTIVE!!!

So, Werewolves = Bipolar in a nutshell

(Let me explain lmao.) 

Werewolves have 2 sides to themselves — the human side, which is mainly present and in control, and the beast — which comes out every moon cycle or so, raises all sorts of hell, and then disappears. Always leaving the human counterpoint to deal with the aftermath. 

Humans that turn into werewolves prepare for full moons — often going into isolation so as to not hurt their loved ones, or irreparably damage their life, and the lives of those around them. 

With a good support system, a werewolf can live a normal life (mostly), where their other-self isn’t always wrecking havoc. For people with Bipolar, it’s the same. We are not always werewolves. We are often human. Our illness is cyclical — it will always have a new cycle, and it cannot be cured. When we have an “episode” — though no two bipolar people are the same; how we act, think, feel, and what we do can change. We are not separate from “the beast,” however. Both sides are very much the same person. Though they can be drastically — drastically —  different.  

In his interview with Rolling Stone, Ian stated (about one of the songs on his album): 

“— On “Miss Understood,” it’s a character’s diary entry where she fell in love with Ian but she kinda fell in love with MITO, too. It comes from personal experience; I want to date when I’m Ian, but there was one moment where she liked the darkness in me, which was weird because it’s like, “You don’t really know what this brings.” But she stuck around, and it was hard to be me in front of her. There was a sense of inferiority, for sure, because I know how different I am between my states, but also I was very cautious not to give my all in that [down] state because I’m not wanting to hurt someone mentally. So I’d just seclude myself. A lot of the songs in this album hit on this note.”

For the moon, Bipolar episodes are (as previously stated, perhaps multiple times) cyclical. They run in cycles — over and over and over again. The days come and go, but then there will always be that transition into a full moon, just as how the entire moon will also eventually completely disappear from sight during a New Moon. (Plus the connection / belief popular culture has with the superstition that a Full Moon brings madness with it / lunacy.) 

So we’ve finally come to the end of this PPT series…genuinely hoped this was enlightening to anyone it happened to come across.

If you have any other questions feel free to comment or dm me. 🥳

PREV

Journal Entries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

PPT Essay Extras: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7] , [8], [9]

Visual Clips (Depressive Episodes): (1), (2)